Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Five Years and Goodbye

Five years ago today, the GLORY!blog began. You saw our desperate days--one of us in Texas and one in Mississippi. You saw our meager one and two week vacations together. You followed us to Disney World. You saw Noby move me to Texas so that the glorious duo could live in sin. You watched us get married, leave Texas, and drive another Penske to Alabama. Through it all, we brought you the photos and the jokes. Seems like a good time to end this thing. We're still spreading the joy, you just won't find it in this particular place on the internet except in archive form. Goodbye, GLORY!bloggers.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Yo Mama Jokes

Yo mama is so fat that, at the end of an eight week period, she didn't achieve her weight loss goal.

Yo mama is so stupid, when she re-entered the mall parking lot, she had forgotten exactly which lane she parked her car in.

Yo mama is so lazy, after a hard day of work she likes to watch a little TV or read a magazine before tidying up the house.

Yo mama is so skinny, she feels that the low-calorie menu options at restaurants serve appropriate portions.

Yo mama is so poor, she decides to wait until new technological gadgets go down in price before purchasing them.

Yo mama is so tall, she was able to put the star on the Christmas tree without her husband's help.

Yo mama is so nasty, she'll wash her hands after going to the bathroom without using the hand soap.

Yo mama is so ugly, she once tried out for the part of the pretty girl in a movie and was told she wasn't exactly what the director was looking for.

Yo mama is so short, she sometimes has to ask grocery store clerks for assistance in retrieving top shelf items.

Yo mama is so old, she heard a new song, popular among teenagers, and thought it wasn't as enjoyable as the music she grew up with.

Yo mama's glasses are so thick that she is advised by her ophthalmologist to wear them while driving at night.

Yo mama's nose is so big that if she crosses her eyes and looks down, she can actually see it.

Yo mama's chest is so flat, she's able, with little difficulty, to jog without wearing a sports bra.

Yo mama's butt is so huge, when she moves past people in a crowded elevator, it's been known to graze them.

Yo mama is so stinky that when she isn't able to shower in the morning, she applies a little extra deodorant before she leaves for work.

Yo mama is so hairy, she sometimes wears jeans instead of a skirt if she doesn't have an opportunity to shave her legs.

Yo mama is so promiscuous, when her husband initiated sex on their first anniversary, she yielded with little resistance.