Thursday, November 30, 2006

Talkin' Turkey

This year for Thanksgiving, my parents came to McAllen and we re-enacted the original Thanksgiving by dressing up as Pilgrims and Native Americans, wearing very authentic and traditional costumes.



Mary Hoffman took on the role of Little Big Heart, while the Len-Man took on the role of the Drunk, Lopsided Pilgrim. "It was pretty fun," Leonard says, even though we forgot to open his can of cranberry sauce.



We made sure to sleep that night on festive blankets laced with typhoid germs so on the morning after, we were plenty sick and ready to travel north, toward San Antonio, so we could solemnly remember (by removing our hats before we entered the sacred space) the Alamo. Photos of this to come, courtesy of my dad who can't yet figure out how to send me his digital photos. But, anyway, it was a slaughter-filled Thanksgiving! We've got our new cow-skull Christmas ornament to prove it.



And now that Thanksgiving's over, it's time to start the War on Christmas by spending all our wampum on Princess toys.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

They Call Me Boo Boo Salad

In case we haven't told you yet, Carrie and I really like Ron White. We've seen his stand-up specials like five times apiece. If he's on, we're watching him.

I'm not a huge fan of the Blue Collar guys: Jeff Foxworthy (he's pretty good when not only doing redneck jokes), Bill Engvall (who I know little about), and Larry the Cable Guy (who, at least, talks funny), and I don't think he really fits with them. I'm not even sure how he draws the same crowd. He makes southern jokes, but they're more like convincing his hillbilly homophobic cousin that he's at least a little gay because -- when he watches a man-on-woman porno -- the cousin prefers for the man to have a "big huge throbbing cock."

So check out Ron if you haven't already. He gets our GLORY!blog seal of approval.

The other person we watch a lot of together is Kathy Griffin. She's someone else I didn't imagine I would like as a stand-up since she just talks about celebrities. But I wuz wrong. Her comedy is pretty new, since she's essentially just telling a story about celebrities she ran into, as if she's talking to a buddy, interrupting herself a lot and saying "I know, I know" and "Oh, that reminds me, I've got to tell you my Barbara Walters story later."

They're not our two favorite stand-ups (we probably like Chris Rock the best), but they're the two we enjoy watching together the most. As GLORY!blog fans, we thought you should know. This is the kind of thing we used to tell you before we became too busy actually -- you know -- hanging around each other for real.

Happy Thanksgiving Week!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I'm getting a nephew!

Admire his manliness:


And, in the tradition of his father, his big noggin:

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Your Official GLORY!blog Election Coverage



My favorite "issue" on this election day is this one about whether to ban mourning dove hunting in Michigan. One side says, "hunters would severely deplete the state’s 4 million mourning doves." The other side says, "Doves are often grilled, broiled or roasted for a serving of two to four birds per person." Who will win? The birds or the men who shop at the Bass Pro Shop?

But here in Texas, only one question matters today: who will win the election for Railroad Commissioner? 74-year old, storytellin' Democrat Dale Henry? Or Republican mother of two Elizabeth Ames Jones, who calls herself "a daughter of the oil patch"? Elizabeth looks prettier, but Dale sounds more like an authentic Texan. It's a difficult decision, but an important one.

Remember: every vote counts!

Remember also: freedom isn't free!

And: we're gonna smoke 'em out of their caves!

Furthermore: don't let the terrorists win!

To reiterate: no child left behind!

Additionally, don't forget: together, we'll build a future!

But more importantly: we'll build a bridge to the 21st century!

What I'm trying to say is: we'll be better off than we were four years ago!

Put simply: we care about working families and affordable prescription drugs for seniors!

Because in the end: we're here to serve the American people!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Halloween Afterthought

Conclude from these pairings what you will.



SEXY BORDER PATROL


REAL BORDER PATROL


SEXY FAST FOOD WORKER


REAL FAST FOOD WORKER


SEXY NURSE


REAL NURSE


SEXY BASEBALL PLAYER


REAL BASEBALL PLAYER


SEXY GIRL SCOUT


REAL GIRL SCOUT


SEXY BOXER


REAL BOXER


SEXY CLOWN


REAL CLOWN


SEXY HANDYMAN


REAL HANDYMAN


SEXY SUPERGIRL


REAL SUPERGIRL


SEXY ANGEL


REAL ANGEL


SEXY ARMY SOLDIER


REAL ARMY SOLDIER


SEXY BRIDE


REAL BRIDE


SEXY WONDER WOMAN


REAL WONDER WOMAN


SEXY DEVIL


REAL DEVIL


SEXY BUMBLEBEE


REAL BUMBLEBEE


SEXY PRISONER


REAL PRISONER


SEXY DALLAS COWBOY CHEERLEADER


REAL DALLAS COWBOY CHEERLEADER


SEXY HIPPIE


REAL HIPPIE


SEXY WITCH


REAL WITCH


SEXY MAIL CARRIER


REAL MAIL CARRIER


SEXY FRENCH MAID


REAL FRENCH MAID


SEXY COP


REAL COP

Happy Day of the Dead!