Monday, February 27, 2006

Bjork! Bjork! Bjork!

For those googling Bjork and the Dark Crystal:

There. Now you don't have to make this graphic yourself.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Things I Want By Next Year

1. A washer and dryer
2. A house with a backyard
3. Patio furniture for the back yard
(Is backyard one word, or two?)
4. A flat screen, flat-panel computer monitor
5. A toaster (mine broke and I'm not buying one because Rusty has one)
6. Yet another new bookcase because mine are full
7. DSL internet service
8. A job

*Anyone who figures out the literary reference in this post gets a prize.

And for you, we have this:
Slim Thug f/ Rusty Spell with "Miss Mary," a song for my mom.

Friday, February 24, 2006


Look how often I have to include Carrie on rink-a-dink fad sites to make her happy:

1. The big permanent picture of her with caption.

2. The same picture in the "Top 8" section.

3. A picture of her as The Strawberry Explosion.

4. A song she's singing ("My Humps").

5. Mentioned twice in my general interests section (and much more if you pay attention to what the last part says).

6. The Strawberry Explosion again in the music section, as well as The Mnemonic Devices and Rusty Spell (which also features her).

7. And now the stuff not pictured above... Photos of her in the photo section.

8. Links of things she's involved with, including the GLORY!blog and my photo site.

9. She's listed as one of my favorite authors.

10. The "in a relationship" specification.

11. The "children: someday" specification.

12. And of course a place where she's commented, both times that she's not featured enough on the page.

What I'ma gonna do with that girl?


Thursday, February 23, 2006

Lazy Lettuce Days

Yes, I finished comps. I think I broke a record on the last day, when I wrote 19 pages in 3 hours. Now all that's left to do is to wait around for Rusty to show up for his spring break on March 3rd. No brown days for us. We'll get fat together and sleep in and dance to DJ Laz. We'll give each other zits, and take photos of ourselves pointing to the zits, and then we'll think about that glorious day when we were both skinny on the trampoline and Carrie fit into her size 0 jeans like a celebrity.

Friday, February 17, 2006

I'm Already Eating the Big Red

My Valentine's box had been sitting at the post office for god knows how long. I had to call them to say, "What the dealio?" But I got it, and so this is the last day of Valentine's Day, and now we can mush all over your faces in other ways for the rest of the year.

You should know that one of my gifts is a Harold Pinter book called Death Etc.. Here is a romantic poem from it:

A Reflection on the Gulf War

It works.
We blew the shit out of them.

We blew the shit right back up their own ass
And out their fucking ears.

It works.
We blew the shit out of them.
They suffocated in their own shit!

Praise the Lord for all good things.

We blew them into fucking shit.
They are eating it.

Praise the Lord for all good things.

We blew their balls into shards of dust,
Into shards of fucking dust.

We did it.

Now I want you to come over here and kiss me on the mouth.

That's pretty much a perfect poem. It probably goes in my top twenty. I love that man.

But not as much as I love my bunny. You'll have to ask her what book I got her for Valentine's Day. I'm not telling.

Next I'm eating heart-shaped Peeps.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Choo Choo Choose GLORY!

Happy Valentine's Day, all you glory-boos. I got my big old package from Rusty delivered today around 2 PM. Rusty didn't get my present, but Noby can vouch that I sent it since he saw me mail it at the P.O. last Tuesday. I even paid for Priority Mail this year.

You can see Rusty's alien card here -- Rusty isn't allowed to click yet.

This is last year's Valentine.

Tomorrow is the first day of my comps, people. Once I'm done, I'm gonna make a re-make of "My Humps" called "My Comps."

Happy Valentine's Day 2006

Click the picture for the Valentine's fun!

Monday, February 13, 2006

Better Than a Text Rose

Look what I got . . .

Best of all, I got my Valentine, Dr. Bubbles Spell.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Saturday, February 11, 2006

I'm a Miss This Place

My life is about to change in a big way. I'm finishing up my Ph.D. this semester. Next week, on Wednesday, I start taking my comprehensive exams--three days, a four-hour essay exam each day. First day is a creative writing test; second day is a test on modernism; third day is on Raymond Carver. This means I pretty much know something about every major writer or literary work since 1900. I can recite an entire Ezra Pound poem; I know that all of the events in the novel Ulysses took place on June 16, 1904; Wyndham Lewis was associated with Vorticism; two writers associated with the grotesque are Flannery O'Connor and Sherwood Anderson; John Maynard Keynes was a member of Bloomsbury; Raymond Carver published his short stories in an undergraduate magazine called Toyon, and one of them was a parody of Hemingway's The Hills Like White Elephants; step four of the Carver chronotype is that he demolished the post-war myth that the nuclear family is a safe space; he stopped drinking in 1977.

All of this knowledge will hopefully lead me to graduation in May--anyone who comes gets free Leatha's and can meet all my family. Cheer loudly. I'll probably cry. I'll be leaving Hattiesburg some time after that, but who knows where I'll end up. Illinois or Texas or some other place we don't know about yet. I'll have a new job, and this will be another change. One thing for sure is that Rusty and I will finally be together in the promised land, wherever that might be. I'm looking forward to all that stuff. A Valentine's Day where I actually get to hand him his presents. We'll get to sell all our duplicate CDs. We can save money on plane tickets, get a family cell phone plan, combine our Netflix accounts. It'll be crazy. It might take us a year or two to get used to it. I feel a little weird about leaving Hattiesburg, but I'm excited, too.

Friday, February 10, 2006


In case you weren't aware, we accept Valentine's Day gifts, given to both of us as an entity. You don't only have to give presents to your significant other; you can also give them to ubercouples like us who help spread the message of love. Think of it as a sacrifice to the gods for our generosity on your lives.

To get you started, in case you're short on ideas, here's a Valentine-friendly picture you can print out and color, adding our names in the hearts or whatever you like. We're not picky.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Comprehensive Boo Boo

I HAD over-prepared the event—
that much was ominous.
With middle-aging care
I had laid out just the right books,
I almost turned down the right pages

Monday, February 06, 2006

I'm a Rock Star!

I just found out I am runner up in the Rock Star Games Upload 4 Short Fiction Competition. Rock Star Games makes Grand Theft Auto. Judges were Jonathon Nolan (wrote "Memento Mori," on which the movie Memento is based), JT Leroy (controversial writer figure), and Richard Nash (publisher of Soft Skull Press).

Winner got $3,000. The two runner ups got $0.

The story is based on an experience Rusty told me about--he may write his own version one day. Read it and see the competition details here.

Here are some other famous runner-ups:

Runner-up in the Miss Jalapeno Festival:

Runner Up in the Mr. Gay USA pageant:

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Famous One More Time

The Strawberry Explosion's song "Baby Baby Boo!" will appear on the compilation from It Takes a Village Records called First-Hand Accounts, Theories, and Their Repercussions. (The Mnemonic Devices will also appear, cause people can't get enough Rusty Spell.) They're currently featuring the song here. There's also an interview with me on that page, but it's messy. I'd suggest reading it here instead (and it's got more info).

Friday, February 03, 2006

Two Rusties, a Valentine for Sherwood, and an Obligatory Picture

Watch this video Rusty made for Erasure's Drama.

And, to get you ready for the 14th, here's Gertrude Stein to Sherwood Anderson:

Very fine is my valentine.
Very fine and very mine.
Very mine is my valentine very mine and very fine.
Very fine is my valentine and mine, very fine very mine and mine is my valentine.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Happy Groundhog Day (or: Another Picture for Mel to Enjoy)

These are the actual pictures that are going (possibly) in the book.

This is the one we guessed for sure, and this is the one definite. The rest are on her "wishlist" to put in the book. They are as follows.

The other one we guessed, since we consider this a perfect picture.


Dino Hoff.

The one where, in the caption on my page, I said I should take pictures for Disney brochures.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Rusty makes me famous again

Remember these?

They're gonna be in a book! Or some other of our Disneyworld photos will be, anyway. Two of our pictures, both photos of me taken by Rusty, are going to appear in a book for scrapbookers about how to take good amateur photos at Disneyworld. Check out this e-mail. We're famous!

----- Original Message -----
To: rusty@rustyspell
Sent: Tuesday, January 31, 2006 5:14 PM
Subject: Disney World Photos

> Hi,
> I came upon your Walt Disney World photos through an Internet search. I
> wondered if you would consider allowing us to use one or more of your
> photos in
> an upcoming (fall '06) book?

> I've written the Scrapbooker's Guide to Walt Disney World. (This is my
> seventh book, but my first about Disney World.) Most of the book will be
> devoted
> to photography tips (and examples) geared to the four parks. There will
> be
> about 400 photographs, all printed in color.

> A website (_www.PlanSnapScrap.com_ ( ) can
> give
> you more details about the project.

> We are looking for a variety of perspectives, so hope to include photos
> from
> as many as 200 amateur photographers. Unfortunately, my publisher won't
> let
> me pay anyone. What you get is a free copy of the book if your photo is
> used. (As well as your name -- and the name of your business and/or
> website, if
> you wish -- on the photo credits page. If you'd rather, for complete
> privacy, you can specify that no identifying information about your photo
> is
> provided in the book.)
> The photos we were interested in using are of Carrie (according to your
> captions), so we would of course need her permission as well as yours as
> photographer.
> Thanks for your consideration,
> Sharla Whalen
> A Scrapbooker's Guide to Walt Disney World