Saturday, October 30, 2004

Apple Bobbing and Casting Rusty Spells on Hallowe'en

Here's some good news worth waking up for: Rusty and I both found out yesterday that we're going to have stories published in Georgetown Review this spring. They took my story "Watching Out for Wallace" and Rusty's story "Every Three Years."

I've put our fall break photos on The Carrie Hoffman Webpage. You should look, even if you saw Rusty's, because there are some that he didn't post on his page. He's more sparing than I am. I'm not a choosy mom.

What's everyone wearing for Halloween? Rusty wore his Count Chocula t-shirt. I was one of those ladies with an orange shirt yesterday. Tonight I'm attending a party dressed as a certain celebrity whose name rhymes with Jelly, and though apparently I'm not the first one to come up with the idea, my costume is very, very classy and very bling-blingin'. I'll post photos next time.


Vote or die in a car accident!

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Three more shopping days till spook day...

Halloween approaches...

So the long-awaited "Monster Mash" by me and Carrie as The Strawberry Explosion.

Also my Rusty Spell's Online Mix Tape is Halloween themed until November 2... scary day!

Now, um, don't be too scared by the following...




For some reason, this one never caught on...



I wore my Count Chocula hipster T-shirt to teach class today. Cause I'm a dorko.

Finally, the newest song by The Strawberry Explosion: "I Like To."

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Sleepy Brown

I'm sending this back to Ruckabee so he can give you the final song from our new CD. I'll do better next time.

I can name many books from Rusty's shelf. I guess it doesn't count since I've seen it, but I've got a lot of the same books, so I could still win, even without seeing it.

Here's a hint about my Halloween costume: it will involve a Band-Aid.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Halloween 2

Here's the new GLORY!blog game for you literary dorks out there. Once you get past looking at how cute Carrie Hoffman is, list as many book titles in this picture as possible, email the list to me (rusty at rusty spell dot com), and the winner will get a nice prize. I realize that all my books are posted on my website, and I also realize that I could take it down temporarily, but instead I'll just ask you all not to cheat. Honor system.

Oh, and you also have to be willing to be told that you're partially insane for playing the game...



The real treat for you all. Carrie and I as The Strawberry Explosion do The Shaggs song Halloween. Here it is. Carrie and I sing, but Carrie herself plays all the instruments! Look for the new song next time.

Rubby Bulbs.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

We give you the photos.

Here's another Halloween picture I didn't put up last time because the quality is not so good. My brother is being racist as a feathered Native American with warpaint. And I'm Little Orphan Annie. I got this costume for Christmas the year before when apparently, I kept saying to every Santa, "I want an Annie wig and an Annie dress." I was obsessed. My parents had to call every toy store in Miami and eventually found one in Hialeah (the area where all the new Cuban immigrants live, kind of a drive since everything in Miami is so spread out) that had one stashed away, left over from Halloween, in a smashed-up box. This was a big effort for my parents since they bought most of our toys at garage sales in rich neighborhoods-- we never knew the difference and, as me and Rusty were talking about last night, my brother had an amazing collection of Star Wars toys. He even had a ton-ton that Luke could ride. My Grandma Strick made the Annie dress.



And if you want to see the few photos we took of my Fall Break trip to the Rio Grande Valley, Rusty put some up on his picture pages here. There's us on the beach in South Padre Island and us recording songs and us making out with mini-pumpkins. Speaking of pumpkins, did you know you can buy a plastic Jack O'Lantern trick or treat candy basket, a big one, for only 78 cents at Wal-Mart-- that seems extremely cheap to me.

In non-Halloween fun, here are the two cutest photos from my brother's honeymoon in Alaska:




















I'll let Rusty post a new song now.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Halloween Photos and Songs

Bill Cosby's Picture Page

Oooh! Oooh! I also have Halloween pictures!



My sister's princess mask. This isn't my Halloween outfit, just one of those ways I used to dress up. My dad wore the rabbit mask almost every day of his adult life, because he is clinically insane.



Hey, what the--? Oh, whew, it's just Vicki and Rusty!



Yeah, so apparently I went as Bugs two years in a row. Vicki was a cheerleader. This was Dad during one of his "getting better" moments. Mom, who was not insane, dressed this way to deflect a little from her husband. Vicki and I are holding up our highly-inappropriate "Halloween dildos" that Dad bought us every year. Vicki is visibly showing her feelings, while I am weeping behind the bunny mask.



We hung out with pirates long before they were "in" for hipsters. See also this picture of me as a random, non-Halloween pirate ("Pirate Tubesock") from the previous year.

GLORY!blog Exclusive

So every time I post from now until Halloween, I'm putting up an mp3 of one of our Halloween songs. It'll be replaced, so download them while you can!

Today's song: "Casper the Friendly Ghost" by Daniel Johnston as performed by The Strawberry Explosion.

Ullso

Don't forget to check rustyspell.com every day for green dot Halloween fun. If you haven't been keeping up, you've already missed Wendy and Hot Stuff from the Casper comics. Today, Spooky -- Casper's stupid-looking cousin -- is featured.

You jerks.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Here's some kiddie photos of me on Halloween

This is the famous Princess Leia costume my mom made me. This is around 1982--my brother went as Darth Vader. We wore the same costumes again in 1983:



And here's me with my brother, circa 1984. In front of us is the pumpkin patch that we set up every year.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Not As Quick Post

Here are the treats that Carrie got me:

Ren and Stimpy DVDs
Vince Guaraldi: A Charlie Brown Christmas CD
Duran Duran: Greatest CD (you read right)
The Chipmunks: Merry Christmas from the Chipmunks

Here's the music we made:



* Click for more info.
* Right click to download song.

You should, um, buy this single. What's your problems? I think only one gloryblog reader bought one of the old ones. You can't afford four bucks? You know I'm losing money on the deal, right? Screw y'all. Now you can't have one. I hope you enjoy the mp3 up there because if you try to buy one, I'll refund your money with a note that says, "Better luck next time, you johnny-come-lately douche-bag."

Yeah, I was just kidding about that whole douche-bag thing. I hope you buy a single if you want one. If you don't like the single (as if that would happen), it's also got me and Carrie doing Daniel Johnston's "Casper the Friendly Ghost," The Shaggs' "Halloween," and "The Monster Mash." So there.

Pia gets free ones, though. I'm mailing them tomorrow. She gets free ones because she's going to interview us. So look for that. Think of something cool you can do with us, and you might get free things too.



Here's that famous picture that Kim alluded to on her Bliggidy Blog. It's in black and white because we're writers and black and white is more artistic than color. Any fool knows that. Someone once said to me that sepia tone was even better, but I punched them in the face and they got the idea. That's Pia herself I'm leaning against, cause she shows the love.

One day we'll have a reunion and do a recreation of this picture. We'll use it for the cover of the blue album and the first one for a cover of the red album. I think you know what I'm saying here.

My Mr. Hankey CD has scratches on it. That's why it was five bucks. Life is so hard.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Quick Post

It's my last day in Edinburg. Rusty's teaching his last class before he comes home and takes me to the airport.

Here are some of the trip highlights:

Friday night we had our Halloween and watched Night of the Living Dead. I'd never seen it before. It was good. You can buy it on DVD at Target for a dollar.

We went to South Padre Island, the nearest beach, on Saturday. It turns out, there was some statewide Texas Harley Davidson convention being held there, and bikers were all over the place. Three Dog Night was playing at the local water park, the Schlitterbahn. On the way out, we got caught up in some Harley Davidson parade. People were lining the streets watching all the loud motorcycles go by. We were the two in the '97 Corolla.

Sunday was treat day, the day we buy each other treats. Here is some of what Rusty bought me:

The Four Tops, Greatest Hits
Air Supply, Greatest Hits
William Shatner, Common People
the new Tom Green book, Hollywood Causes Cancer.

We also made some new music, but I quit this post. Rusty's home now and he needs me like he needs a Coke.

More later. Probably with pictures.

Friday, October 15, 2004

Baby

Baby's going to be here on the baby. Tomorrow is the baby, and that's when baby's going to baby. I like baby, and baby likes baby, and baby's going to be baby. I'm even happy about baby being baby. I'm even happy. Baby is so baby, and she's baby.

Baby.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Don't stick your dick in a turbine, Rusty.

For Rusty, who is happier today than he was yesterday, this is what I looked like all day today:


The GLORY!blog would like to publicly congratulate our friends Nate and Amy for getting engaged. Here they are stealing our act by doing the long-arm photo, just after getting engaged in the park:



Everybody knows that the long arm photo is the most romantic photo.

T minus two more nights alone.

Why Don't I Stick My Dick in a Turbine?

I too am feeling like a green alien Frankenstein's monster with one "dead eye." But worse. Maybe more like this:



Friday I imagine this is how I'll look:



... which better get here soon, or this will turn from the gloryblog to the, um, hellishdepressionblog.

Rusty "Bad Chemicals" Spell.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Lately vs. Friday

This is what I've been feeling like lately:



This is what I will feel like on Friday night:



Rusty and I are goin' to the beach. We're gonna eat in restaurants and go on dates.

Rusty's last "Carrie" comic is a new favorite. Those Bratz dolls are whores. Parents, don't buy them for your children.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

It's a Jack-o!

You want a mix tape of my stuff, but don't feel like messing with the limits confined space? Then click here and listen to my Launch radio station. It basically plays lots of stuff that I have in my collection, or that I like, with the occasional Coldplay thrown in to make The Man happy. You can listen all day. If Carrie makes one for herself, you can listen to our music personalities at any time of day.

And now, the new comic:



There might be a sequel to this particular strip later. We'll see.

As Carrie rightly points out, you should all look forward to the upcoming Halloween season. Halloween you can dance to.

Friday, October 08, 2004

I Heart Ruckabees

We are now officially a week away from the re-combining of forces.



Here is an MP3 of "Monster Mash." You just wait....

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Carrie's Questions Answered!

1. What was your best Halloween costume as a kid?

I went as a Biskitt once, specifically as the one over there riding on the frog. He was the main one. Even then, the cartoon wasn't incredibly popular, so when I said I was going as a Biskitt, everyone looked at me weird like I'd said I was going as a "biscuit." Anyway, I didn't make the costume myself--the show was popular enough for them to make one for me and sell it at Roses.

2. Who do you think your personality is more like: your mom's or your dad's?

Probably Dad's. He's more goofy.

3. You live in Texas, right by the Mexican border, but you've indicated that this is temporary. Where do you see yourself ending up?

I don't know.

4. Describe the process of applying for tenure-track university teaching jobs.

Tedious.

5. Why do you like Chekhov?

He's honest, doesn't bullshit around, really shows what people are thinking and feeling, tends to write about stuff that people should actually care about. Is a good model for how to write short stories. He cares more about the stories and characters than he does about looking cool or clever, which tends to be backward now for a lot of writers.

6. Think of a fruit. Okay, now think of another fruit. Okay, now think of a flower. What flower is it?

Tulip.

7. Tell us about sharing a room with your brother Tony.

Vicki got the "big room," even though she got it to herself. We got the tiny bedroom. We had bunk beds; I was on top. We talked every night about Purple Rain or titties. We used to call ass and titties "pencil and pens" as code. "She's got a nice pencil. Man, look at them pens." Etc. We were much more mature then than we are now, actually. I was probably fourteen or something when Tony moved out. Maybe younger, I don't remember.

8. Describe your last charitable act.

I dunno. I gave some money to our school's literary magazine, if that counts. I don't like people who give to charities (the people, not the act), so I distance myself... or I would distance myself if I actually had money to give.

9. You've recently been playing the baritone ukelele that I stole from my mom for you. How is it different from your other one, and how are you liking it?

The soprano one is smaller, and it sounds more like an actual ukulele (or how we imagine them sounding, including the perpetual slightly-out-of-tunedness of them). The baritone is bigger and sounds like a uke still, but closer to an acoustic, so it's not quite as "wimpy" sounding. So I'll use whatever sound I more want. I like it a lot. It's a lot easier to play, because it's more managable. With the small one, you kind of have to scramble to hold it, and the strings are closer together, making it more difficult. I dig them both.

10. What sorts of things do you think about on your long drives from Texas to Mississippi?

I repeat mantras, but the mantras are spiritual words that have no sounds or meanings.

11. Do you have any interest at all in the potential eruption of Mt. St. Helens?

Yes. All this end of the world stuff is both scary and thrilling. I'm kind of looking forward to it.

12. Which are better: grapes or strawberries?

Grapes are more consistently good. It's rare you get bad grapes. Strawberries might be better when they're good, but often they're mushy and gross.

I suck.

Monday, October 04, 2004

Questions for Rusty

1. What was your best Halloween costume as a kid?

2. Who do you think your personality is more like: your mom's or your dad's?

3. You live in Texas, right by the Mexican border, but you've indicated that this is temporary. Where do you see yourself ending up?

4. Describe the process of applying for tenure-track university teaching jobs.

5. Why do you like Chekhov?

6. Think of a fruit. Okay, now think of another fruit. Okay, now think of a flower. What flower is it?

7. Tell us about sharing a room with your brother Tony.

8. Describe your last charitable act.

9. You've recently been playing the baritone ukelele that I stole from my mom for you. How is it different from your other one, and how are you liking it?

10. What sorts of things do you think about on your long drives from Texas to Mississippi?

11. Do you have any interest at all in the potential eruption of Mt. St. Helens?

12. Which are better: grapes or strawberries?

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Carrie's Answers Commented Upon!

When I played house, I was a number of things. Sometimes the baby was okay because there wasn't any "work" involved, but mostly it was boring. I guess I was the dad most of all. When we played school, my sister often played the evil principal who would walk in and scream "What's all the noise?!" then start throwing students around the room. We liked that bit.

The correct answer was "broccoli." Broccoli.

You did well with the high school sentences. You get an A+ for those.

Maybe you're right about Biggs. I never thought about it that way. It was Biggs all along. All this time, I just thought he was the guy who said, "I can't seem 'em!"

Gray. Good answer.

Ecstasy is the right answer. It's my answer too. In fact, let's just take ecstasy. We'll listen to that Stephin Merritt song while we do so. I want one with the Prince symbol on it. Or the Indian head.

Fred MacMurray is right, he's smarter. Bill Bixby has more heart, but less brains.

You misunderstood my "roundness of numbers" question. It's okay. You're pretty, so you can get away with a lot of things.

That picture I posted last time of myself is weird. It's almost 3-D. Last night it started moving around and almost came out of the screen.

I'm glad we are living in the Age of Shatner.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Rusty's Questions Answered!

1. When you played house as a kid, were you usually the mother, the daughter, or what?

I was usually the baby of the family. I think this is because I was usually smaller and scrawnier and younger-looking than the other girls. The girls I went to elementary school with had bras at age eight for whatever reason. I remember one day in pre-school, me and this girl got into a fight when I stood up for myself. I was all, "I am not going to be the baby again. I want to wear the high heels from the dress-up bin." This may be why I do such a good impersonation of babies today. A lot of times, I played by myself and acted out all the roles except the baby, which would be played by a doll I had named Stephanie. I had a really cool Sesame Street stove and matching sink that my grandparents bought me. I also had a "changing table" that some friend of the family gave us.

2. Think of a vegatable. Don't read on until you've thought of it. Okay? Now think of a second one. What is it?

An ear of corn. The first was peas, which I made for dinner last night along with some baked chicken. "Yums to the gums," as my best friend Courtney says.

3. First song that pops in your head. Quick! No, don't think--now!

"The Tide is High" by Blondie because I just heard it in the car on the way down to do my laundry.

4. Describe your high school experience in one word. Now describe it in five words. Now do it with a sentence fragment. Now do it using a comma, semi-colon, and dash, making sure to use the word "razzmataz."

One word: Disconnected

Five words: I couldn't wait for college.

Sentence fragment: Out of my element.

Comma, semi-colon, dash, "razzmataz": There were five thousand kids in my high school--one thousand in my graduating class alone--which made it hard to not feel out-of-place or like a bureaucratic number; I kept looking forward to college because I thought it would bring some "razzmataz," if you will, and some lasting friendships and genius and caring teachers into my life.

5. What are your thoughts on James Gandolfini?

I've got none, really. I know he was (or is? Is the show still being made?) on The Sopranos, but I never watched it. I think he's a bit of a chubb.

6. Was Biggs right?

Yes, he made a young Luke Skywalker realize the true evil-ness of the empire.

7. Without using any reference, try to name at least four George Clooney movies.

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, O Brother Where Art Thou?, Ocean's Eleven, Intolerable Cruelty. And I can do more: Perfect Storm, One Fine Day, From Dusk Til Dawn. And, though they were TV: ER and Facts of Life and Roseanne. [I just realize that this is crazy since I'm not even particularly a George Clooney fan.]

8. What color do you feel is underrated?

Gray

9. If you were foreced to use one illegal drug -- besides pot -- what would it be?

Ecstasy, I guess because it makes you lovey, and because it seems not as dangerous as, say, heroin or crack.

10. How many times a day do you say "boo boo" or any variation of the phrase?

Maybe between 35 and 50? And that's in a range of 1-3 hours when I'm on the phone with you, Boo-boo.

11. Rate your lip-synching skills.

On a scale of 1-10, I give myself a seven--and this would fluctuate up or down depending on how well I know the song and how much I've practiced. On the Lisa Loeb video, I give myself a 9.5.

12. Who is smarter: Bill Bixby or Fred MacMurray?

Fred MacMurray--because it takes smarts to play The Absent Minded Professor.

13. Do you only think in words?

No, I also think in images.

14. What thing that isn't normally considered "work" do you consider work (e.g. watching DVD commentaries)?

Updating the GLORY!blog and making t-shirts and sending people presents.

15. What was the last smart thing you heard anyone say?

In the laundry room, this guy in blue shorts said, "Don't use this machine because it doesn't dry shit."

16. How many boyfriends do you have?

Four: you're my Edinburg boyfriend. Rick Barthelme is my older, paternalistic boyfriend. Micah Stack is my flirty Hattiesburg boyfriend. And J. Todd is my aloof, shy Hattiesburg boyfriend, though I think we're in the process of breaking up.

17. What are your views on tipping the servers at Sonic?

I tend to tip them sporadically based on my whims, especially if they are on rollerskates. And sometimes I think it's wrong of me since they probably don't do much more than the people at McDonalds who never get anything.

18. What's the last book you didn't read for school? What's the last book you read that was eventually made into a movie?

The last book I didn't read for school was Rick's new book--Elroy Nights. As for books-into-movies, I would say Moby Dick, but that was already a movie when I read it and I think you mean a book I read before it became a movie. The answer to this is The Safety of Objects, a short story collection by A.M. Homes. The short story collection is okay, but the movie is awful.

19. Muskets?

You just want me to tell people your good joke, but I refuse. I want to keep it mine.

20. Do you believe in the "roundness" of numbers?

I believe that 8 is the roundest number. You can't get rounder than two circles stacked on top of each other. 1 is not very round at all, but neither is 4.

Rusty Interviews Carrie Again

This is my last known photo.

Since we like to interview each other, here are some interview questions for Carrie that she may or may not answer on her next glorypost.

1. When you played house as a kid, were you usually the mother, the daughter, or what?

2. Think of a vegatable. Don't read on until you've thought of it. Okay? Now think of a second one. What is it?

3. First song that pops in your head. Quick! No, don't think--now!

4. Describe your high school experience in one word. Now describe it in five words. Now do it with a sentence fragment. Now do it using a comma, semi-colon, and dash, making sure to use the word "razzmataz."

5. What are your thoughts on James Gandolfini?

6. Was Biggs right?

7. Without using any reference, try to name at least four George Clooney movies.

8. What color do you feel is underrated?

9. If you were foreced to use one illegal drug -- besides pot -- what would it be?

10. How many times a day do you say "boo boo" or any variation of the phrase?

11. Rate your lip-synching skills.

12. Who is smarter: Bill Bixby or Fred MacMurray?

13. Do you only think in words?

14. What thing that isn't normally considered "work" do you consider work (e.g. watching DVD commentaries)?

15. What was the last smart thing you heard anyone say?

16. How many boyfriends do you have?

17. What are your views on tipping the servers at Sonic?

18. What's the last book you didn't read for school? What's the last book you read that was eventually made into a movie?

19. Muskets?

20. Do you believe in the "roundness" of numbers?

Love, love, love.