Sunday, May 30, 2004

Sigh.

Rusty's on his way back to Texas now. He pulled out of Westover apartments yesterday so send him good driving vibes. A month was just long enough for us to get used to being around each other all the time so now my quiet apartment is like, "Hey, where's that guy?" But now that he's gone and we're not doing joint GLORY!blog posts any more, I can tell you that while we were at Disneyworld, he admitted to me that he was planning in his head how to structure our post about our trip and what to do with the photos. And that's after he flipped all of you off and said that Disneyworld was just for his own fun. Turns out, he loves all of you as much as I do.

If there's anything that Rusty and I are good at, it's taking photos. See my offical selections from our month together on my photo page.

Here's Rusty showing his panties on the beach in Biloxi.



Monday, May 24, 2004

Our Family Vacation

Prologue

Sorry you've been without glory for so long. We went to Miami to see Carrie's parents and then went to Disney World. In Miami, we were pampered by Mary Hoffman and given hats. We went to the Everglades and saw mangrove after mangrove (two hours of mangroves on a boat).

We also saw alligator after alligator, even one just lying in the middle of the road. Rusty met Carrie's extended remix family, too. Here are the highlights of Disney World. Expect a full breakdown in some upcoming We Like Media article.


Animal Kingdom

In the commercials for this park, they made up the African word "Nahtazu," but it is indeed a zoo. The whole thing was brown and cramped and depressing. A woman was smoking in line on the first "ride," the Kilamanjaro Safaris, and Rusty started annoying Carrie by making a big stink about it. And then the woman and her family made a big stink themselves and started joking about "who farted?" The "ride" itself was a big jeep that showed us lions and gazelles in captivity, which is always fun.

The Kali River Rapids hadn't yet figured out the art of getting just wet enough for the ride to be fun. Instead, you got drenched down to the panties and were the Soggy Bottom Boys all day.

Animal Kingdom was the most "extreme" (in the bad way) park by taking everything too far, such as the It's Tough To Be a Bug 3-D show where every other second you were being squirted with water, poofed with spirts of air, popped in the back and butt with your "magic" seats, or being pooted on by a dung beetle.

The Primeval Whirl might have been the best ride, but it was also extreme in its herky-jerkiness, and it was essentially a Tilt-a-Whirl on a roller coaster. We left the Animal Kingdom after about two hours, since -- aside from these four "rides" -- the rest of the park consisted of walking trails to see birds and shit.

EPCOT

EPCOT tries so hard, and we appreciate it for that. Mission: SPACE was hyped to be the most exciting ride in the park; it was fun, but didn't live up. Captain Dan from Forrest Gump told us we'd be going up in space, and this little kid in line believed it and was crying the entire time. His dad made him "be a man," and it seemed to work.

The worst ride was The Universe of Energy, a 45 minute explanation of how we use energy, with a 20 minute pit stop to talk about dinosaurs for some reason (not even tying in fossil fuels). We know that everyone loved Ellen DeGeneres explaining the Big Bang Theory. With about 1 1/2 minutes left in the ride, it had issues and pooted out. We were filed out in an orderly fashion by a guy who talked like Elmer Fudd.

The Wonders of Life wasn't open, so we didn't get to pull out a splinter from puss or learn the miracle of our birth.

The Living Seas was an elevator to a room with blue carpet.

One of the ways EPCOT tries hard is that it made up Figment to appeal to the kids. Carrie is the biggest Figment fan in the world.

Spaceship Earth may have been the best ride. That's the big golf ball ride. The countries are always nice. And Illuminations, the nighttime fireworks/laser/glowing globe show on the lagoon.



MGM Studios

We thought we would win at Who Wants To Be a Millionaire--Play It!, but we weren't fast enough... and we didn't know enough answers, either.

The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror was essentially the Magic Kingdom's Haunted Mansion with drops--which makes it cool. The Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith was one of the best rides in all four parks. It even went upside down so it was the "edgiest" Disney ride. We rode it twice.

MGM is nice, but you have to search harder for things to do.


Magic Kingdom

Our favorite. We went a full day (plus special "Magic Hours" that let us go an additional three hours), then went for the rest of the day after leaving Animal Kingdom. Rusty rode Dumbo the Flying Elephant for the first time and was scared. He was even more scared on the Astro Orbiter, a higher version of Dumbo with rockets.

Sarah Silverman was the boatswain on the Jungle Cruise. Splash Mountain knew the art of getting people just wet enough. We sat in the front and got our faces soaked. Luckily, Rusty knew the trick of tucking in his shirt first to leave a dry spot for cleaning our glasses. Big Thunder Mountain Railroad was a herky-jerk the first time we rode it, but the second time it was smooth.

We regret missing Bill Clinton and George Bush Senior's speech in the Hall of Presidents, but we saw George W. Bush's. Last time we saw it, it was Reagan. Turns out, you have to go into the Hall of Presidents every four to eight years to get the full effect of Disney magic.

Everyone loves Space Mountain. We got to see how it looked in the light when it shut down temporarily. It looks like a roller coaster inside a building. Carrie kicked Rusty's ass shooting the aliens in Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin.

So our favorite: The Tomorrowland Transit Authority, better known to us by its original name, The WEDWay People Mover. It's a series of magnets that push and pull at speeds up to 40 miles per hour (though those speeds are reserved for faster rides, such as Space Mountain). The only thing that changed from when it was the WEDWay was a new narration and a few new pitstops. It still maintains its healing
powers. We rode the WEDWay eight times. That's an hour and twenty minutes of WEDWay.


We ended the trip with Wishes Nighttime Spectacular, the new firecracker show above Cinderella's Castle. It was pretty and we didn't cry. The first time we got a side view, and the second time we sat right in front of the castle. We liked it when they put heart lights on the castle.



Epilogue

If you go to the Wilderness Lodge, the in-the-park hotel where we stayed, ask for "Tracy." She's the one getting spanked in the back by the manager for being such a twat.

We'll be posting more and better and bigger photos soon on our respective pagelets so keep checking in.

Monday, May 10, 2004

Teaser



There's a digital camera in the mix now. This is us jumping on a trampoline, in case you can't tell what's going on.

There's about 100 photos floating around now, and about 300 that we took and deleted... since, you know, "all bad photos magically disappear." Carrie will have to give you her theory on the extinction of non-perfect photos.

T minus a few days till we drive to Miami/Orlando. In the meantime, I'm still waiting on my Magnetic Fields CD to arrive in the mail.

Rubby Bulbs.

Friday, May 07, 2004

The Events So Far

I'm sneaking in a post in between class and student conferences.....No clever photos for you. We're still hee-hawin' when I'm not in school. Today's the last real day, besides exam days, of which I have only one so there will be only hee-hawin' from now on.

Here are some of the momentous events so far:

(1) Rusty cleaned my apartment like a househusband while I was in school, since he made it messy.

(2) We played old-school Atari games on my television. I pretended to be good at Centipede and then it turned out that my memory of being good in childhood was wrong, or I lost my magic touch, because I sucked. Rusty was good.

(3) I taught Rusty how to play Mastermind. He got hungry and frustrated.

(4) Rusty went to the English department party last night so I could show him off, but hardly any of the grad students were there so I felt robbed.

(5) We ate sweet-meats twice.

(6) Rusty bought a fancypants digital camera so we can take better photos for ourselves and for the GLORY!blog when we're at Disneyworld and I don't have to lug my big-ass camera around.

(7) We watched Coming to America.

(8) Rusty got a goofy haircut.

(9) Love, love, love.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Buck Owens

Hey, sorry about that whole "jerks" thing. But, yes, we will go out in the cornfield. Carrie will tell a joke, the camera will speed-pan to me, I will laugh like I'm dying, then clam up immediately to say, "And now, Merle Haggard..."