Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Hoop-Jumping: An Academic Hobby That Will Eventually Allow Hoffman and Spell To Securely Eat Cheerios and Watch VH-1 Classic in Their House Robes

The foreign language of the English academic essay seemed so weird to me after having not written one in only two and a half years. It made me go back and look at all the papers I have, from high school on. These are the titles of everything on my computer (certainly not all of them--I used to just delete them when I got my grade or whatever, since they weren't "real" pieces of writing, just school crap):

11th Grade

* O. Henry: The Original Trickster of the Short Story

12th Grade

* William Blake: Songs of the Prophetic Poet

Freshman Undergraduate

* To Kill, or Not To Kill: A Study of Hesitation in Shakespeare's Hamlet
* The Nada of Hemingway: A Study of His Lean Style

Sophomore Undergraduate

* Riding the Unconscious: A Psychological Approach to "The Rocking Horse Winner"
* The Mind of Fallen Man: An Examination of Milton's Paradise Lost Through the Four Main Elements of Drama

Senior Undergraduate

* From Embryonic Writing to the Roman Alphabet
* Esperanto

1st Year Masters

* The Modern Artist Within Mass Culture

2nd Year Masters

* Mankind Versus the Universe: Joseph Conrad's View of Morality

1st Year PhD

* The Creation of a Grotesque in Winesberg, Ohio
* The Burial of Alice Hindman
* Cat in the Rain: A Psychosexual Drama
* How Did It Get Here?: Art Imitates Life in Tender Is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
* The Death Instinct Versus Self-Reliance
* The Censor of Great Britain: Richard Steele and The Conscious Lovers
* Samuel Richardson's Subversive Art
* And He Tells Her Everything: The Relationship Between Varieties of Confessions and Power in Foucault's The History of Sexuality

2nd Year PhD

* Helplessness in Wieland, the Unsympathetic Novel
* Sketches of England, Diplomacy, and Depression: Washington Irving's Meditative Mess, The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon
* Something To Worship: A New Look at the Object of Satire in Part IV of Gulliver's Travels
* Gender Reversal and Its Reformative Purpose in Ethan Frome
* Striking a Very Profound Chord: A Call To Free Ourselves from the Prisons of Previous Harold Pinter Interpretations

Many of these seem pretty cheesy to me now. I guess they were then too. Such is the nature of hoop-jumping.