Thursday, December 09, 2004

Here is a Conversation I Had Yesterday

MICAH STACK:
I was talking to Jeremy last night. I told him I'd gotten to know Carrie Hoffman a lot better this semester. He said, 'Carrie Hoffman--that girl is awesome.' I said, 'Of course you think that, she's the only person as cynical as you.'

CARRIE HOFFMAN:
Do you really think that, that I'm cynical? Because I don't think so.

MICAH STACK:
I don't know. You're a conundrum. You're such a cynic but then yesterday in Ellen Weinauer's class, you were defending the sentimental novel and saying you liked Uncle Tom's Cabin. What's up with that, Carrie Hoffman?

CARRIE HOFFMAN:
I think I'm an idealist. The problem is that most people and situations and the way that the world is become disappointing to me. Because they don't live up to my expectations.

MICAH STACK:
Who does live up to your standards, Carrie Hoffman?

CARRIE HOFFMAN:
My hunny-bunny.

MICAH STACK:
Yeah, I noticed you lose your cynicism when Rusty is around. You become like a giggly schoolgirl.

Then I showed Micah me and Rusty's Christmas card we made this year to send out to our peoples. He admired it.

I think I articulated something about myself in this conversation. And about why Rusty is so good for me. Because he lets me be an idealist, and even makes me realize some of the ideals I have. Because he lives up to what I expect from people. He is good. He is Christmas cards and tennis rackets and late night phone calls and little boxes of Tropicana orange juice and Puffs tissues and long drives and tiny pumpkins and riding the WedWay and fingers drumming on the table and updated webpages and paper turkeys and Abba songs and hail hitting the hotel room window and Photoshop jokes and Sunday School shoes and handsome blue eyes and clever return addresses and "cute?" and music videos and Christmas ornaments and Pictionary and Yahtzee and tin and ten and Easter baskets and Boo Boo and Bunny and Baby and Bun-Bun and Honey Bunny and Bunny Bear and Baby for Gravy and digital photos and excessive emotion and I Can't Bear It.

I say all of this after being disappointed yet again last night by a dumb school situation that's not worth talking about here. I was really frustrated by it, and Rusty understood immediately. He's a good thing in my life. I wait all day to talk to him on the phone for two or three hours. It's like I'm wandering around in a maze all day just to get to the Rusty-cheese at the end.

Rusty and I are having Christmas together this year. And that makes me happy.